Distance

Distance didnt show up on the first day or the second,

Distance threatened it way in on the third day or the fourth day,

It came and sat down, cross legged, at the centre of the head,

Kept mumbling its toxic spells like a possessed child(rocking bavk and forth),

It cleared off old names, endearments and memories,

Subtly and slowly, with a ninja warrior like stealth(we didn’t even know it was there),

It expanded and sat heavy like sumo wrestler, in the space where you once sat(not cross legged, in a squat, waiting to spring off at the first sign of discomfort),

Distance made people forget things,gave us selective amnesias, made us hypersensitive and over anxious and unreasonable,

Distance wanted everything,(the love, the care, the lust, all the people and the relationships)

Distance always claimed the prize,

It summoned Silence to finish the task it began,

Silence arrived,hurried over to the heart, pinned its flag there and made a fortress,

The lub-dubs slowed down, the lubs stopped, the dubs stopped,

Distance had had its prey!

Distance finally conquered,

Yet another victory!

Advertisements

(midnight) Madness

…….continued

A year and around 6 months later here we are fighting for the most silliest things, arguing about everything and I think we both have grown so tired of these exasperations, I know I am. I have been thinking about this for the past so many days, actually I think I thought about it for too long. I sat and obsessed, like I always do, I looked and found so many danger signs, I got worried and I panicked. And I am sorry I took it out all on you. I am not apologising for my behaviour, just to be clear, I would do the same things if it were to happen again.

It hurts me the most, believe me, to tell you that I can’t work on us. Because I like us, I love us, I love you and I love me when I am with you because I am so happy.

But babe remember when I told you that people have told me they would do things that they knew they were not going to do. So when you make a tiny mistake I maybe reacting to you and my previous experiences. I am sorry but that’s who I am going to be untill someone shows me how to trust without inhibition.

You know we both are going to be really busy for the next few years and it will take a lot of effort from the both of us to make it work. And to make it work doesnt mean just trying babe, you have to make space for me to occupy,in your heart and soul for all the times I’m not going to be around and vice versa. We should make plans to make plans and we should stick out for one another. Sometimes you have to be there for me if I am having a harder time(or just PMSing) than you and sometimes I’ll be there for you.

But most of all we have to understand each other (and how can I understand something I don’t know?). We must talk more, of the important stuff, of how much we mean to each other or how we’d go to the end of the world to make sure that it works coz I cant see no one else next to me in The End.

But I guess it never works with just one person in the relationship and the other just quits!

The End.

Old Furnitures

She creaks a little,

she’s gotten all dusty,

a little loud,

a little awkward,

laying around the corner,

of the big house(with the big family).

In her old house she did so much more,

she brought so much joy,

she made so many memories,

yet they gave her away.

(who needs consent from pieces of furniture!!)

Will they ever see,

who she truly is,

what she really is made of,

or will all her preciousness be used to accumulate only dust!!

Abyss

I say your name like a spell, an evil spell!

Waiting for your venom to fill my veins,

You always come, drenched in your toxic glory,

Harass your way through to the brittle parts of me.

You offer me a spot next to you on the throne,

Urge me to give in, succumb to the patriarchy!

Lets burn this galaxy down,

With the strength of our poisons,

Lets turn it all to ash and dust,

And revel in the beauty of our creation!

(only if you agree to all the terms and conditions)

Nobody

”I switched to tea so that nobody can tell me I’m addicted to coffee”

Nobody is the boy with the smile I cannot stop obsessing over,

Nobody is the boy with the DIY ripped jeans and half waxed underarms,

Nobody is the boy with the relationship fatness,

Nobody is the boy who likes to make games,

Nobody is a gold fish,

Nobody is not really nobody,

Nobody is really someone.

Lights

From 5 floors up, at night, the world below looks like a giant ball of darkness dotted with tiny red, white lights and the occasional reds, greens and yellows. So when life gives you a little less attention and you don’t know what else to do, you look at those lights and you obsess till you find the most absurd analogies and patterns. Lights stood patiently in line to be let through the darkness, they blinked yellow in confusion, flashed a bit of red to warn the other lights. The lights were clear about their feelings and their statuses quite unlike the humans that controlled them, who happened to be here, there, everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. For instance the human controlling the patient light wasn’t really patient, the confused light’s human was just waiting his turn. 

We wait weeks to meet each other and finally when we do, we watch the football matches and the cars on the roads. We create relationships and then kill it with our insecurities and our insensitivity. We talk but never of the things that matter, we avoid the most important questions like plague(if I ignore it, it doesn’t exist. Everything is perfect). The lights seem to have it all figured, when will I ever know?

Delete

Do you know how long it takes to delete 63414 messages? 

A long while.

As opposed to the ‘it’ll be over in a second’ theory I had in mind,

As all the words of endearment, the silly fights, the making up to each other and everything we said to each other disappeared,

Despite my panick stricken efforts to make the machine stop,

Even though I was the one that set it in motion,

Pain filled my heart.

There I was,

Giving up,

Again,

So easily!!